Despite his best intentions, Stuart Minnow brings his world to a crashing halt, with nothing to blame but his waffling heart.
Stuart Minnow had arrived at the eve of his undoing.
As he approached the podium, his colon spasmed, threatening to eject its contents straight through his standard wale corduroy trousers. He clenched his buttocks, swallowed hard, and readjusted his bow-tie, which seemed absurdly tight. Fighting an intense wave of nausea, he bent his thin frame awkwardly over the podium, grimacing at his audience while he waited for his advisor to arrive. The university conference hall echoed with the sounds of diminishing patience as one hundred and twenty-eight rear ends fidgeted in uncomfortable metal folding chairs.
I’m a dead man. Surely they’re going to see through me.
Recurring nightmares involving this moment had plagued Stuart’s brain the past two months. The typical showing-up-without-your-pants kind of nightmares. Considering the circumstances, a little nakedness might be beneficial. The distraction of his shriveling penis might at least throw off his critics.
He peered out at them. Pretentious egos in pressed polyester. Any one of them would sell their mother if it would buy them the cover of Science. Cutthroats. Just as he might have guessed, Madge Magnussen was sitting front row, center. He’d dared to publicly question her research on fruit bat fellatio, and now she was here to exact her revenge. The shrew.
Copyright © 2013 Kate Raynes